No Fiction Friday today, but I’ve been working on the book…

I think I have nailed down the final structure of the new book, so have a table of contents:

Dear Princess Celestia… (Introduction)
1.    Okey-dokey Loki (The Return of Harmony)
2.    A Brief History of Equestria
3.    All the ponies in this town are crazy! Do you know what time it is?! (Lesson Zero)
4.    Seeking Our Cutie Marks: Aspirational Fandom
5.    Hello everypony! Did I miss anything? (Luna Eclipsed)
6.    This isn’t at all what I imagined. (Sisterhooves Social)
7.    You don’t have any cutie marks *either*? I thought I was the only one! (The Cutie Pox)
8.    Not so much. The word “fierce” comes to mind. (May the Best Pet Win)
9.    I’m not talking about my performance, I’m talking about yours! That feeble cheering… (The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well)
10.    I simply cannot let such a crime against fabulosity go uncorrected. (Sweet and Elite)
11.    Elements of Harmony 1: Rarity Is Best Pony
12.    You are a natural! A natural disaster! (Secret of My Excess)
13.    And that’s how Equestria was made (Family Appreciation Day/Hearth’s Warming Eve)
14.    That’s four “ever”s. That’s like… forever! (Baby Cakes)
15.    I couldn’t face the truth, so I started tellin’ lies. Can you ever forgive me? (Hearth’s Warming Eve/Family Appreciation Day)
16.    Sure I could tell you I learned something about how my friends are always there to help me… (The Last Roundup)
17.    The Elephant-Hued Pony in the Room
18.    Elements of Harmony 2: Applejack Is Best Pony
19.    I acted pretty awesomely heroic that day (Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone)
20.    Give us all a lesson on your amazing loop-de-hooping! (Hearts and Hooves Day)
21.    I Only Watch It for the Plot: “Clop” and the Sexualization of Cartoon Horses
22.    But I was just… (A Friend in Deed)
23.    Elements of Harmony 3: Zecora Is Best Pony
24.    Please don’t be mad at us. (Putting Your Hoof Down)
25.    The pony who holds my fate in her hooves (It’s About Time)
26.    This isn’t quite what I expected. (Dragon Quest)
27.    Don’t worry, old Fluttershy’s back for good. (Hurricane Fluttershy)
28.    Heheh. Who knows? (Ponyville Confidential)
29.    Bronies Behaving Badly: The Dark Side of Fandom
30.    Sometimes it’s just really fun to be scared (MMMMystery on the Friendship Express)
31.    You’re going to LOVE me! (A Canterlot Wedding)
…Today I Learned…
Glossary and Dramatis Personae

Admittedly, with the first book I added two chapters after sending the book to the editor, so this is definitely not set in stone.

0 thoughts on “No Fiction Friday today, but I’ve been working on the book…

  1. I was curious what you were planning to do re: the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well writeup, given that you one-eightied on it afterwards. Are you planning to let it stand, or did you want to rewrite it to include the perspective you got from Odd Girl Out?

  2. I think you're missing a chapter on The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. Other than that it all looks good.

  3. That's…. weird. It's in the draft, right between “The Elephant-Hued Pony in the Room” and “Applejack Is Best Pony,” but for some reason it's not showing up in the TOC.

  4. Gave me a fright, though, because up until yesterday the book genuinely WAS missing the chapter on “May the Best Pet Win.” I was worried there was some kind of chapter-eater on the loose.

  5. “How do we know we turned into ponies?”

    “Because we have hooves, which we can clearly see and are at present walking upon?”

    “I mean, how do we know we weren't ponies already? How do we know we were human?” Rosencrantz stopped, reared up to balance on his hind legs, and began feeling his equine face. “We can't see our own faces.”

    Guildenstern stopped as well. “We could see each others' faces.”

    “Could we? Yours is fuzzy to me.”

    “Both our faces are fuzzy, we have coats now.”

    “Yes, but I'm not sure I remember your human face all that well.”

    “Oh come on. We do remember most of what's happened after we arrived at Elsinore, right?”

    “Remember? We never figured out anything that was going on!”

    “But we heard their words, even if we didn't understand what they meant. I remember who we talked to, and most of where we were.”

    “Oh. You're right, come to think of it, I remember that much too. But here's the thing: I do remember what they said, I even remember where we were standing, some of the time, and what some of the rooms and forests and ships looked like, to some degree, though that's mainly because we discussed them at some point. But I can't quite remember what the people looked like. I never thought to notice it.”

    “You could tell who you were speaking to without having to ask… at least some of the time… ergo, you could tell them apart, ergo, you could remember to some degree what they looked like at the time.”

    “Good point. I could have been bluffing, speaking as though I knew them to cover up the fact that I did not, but I also remember thinking a few things as well. Only when we were alone, but still.”

    Guildenstern sighed. “Even if you can't remember their faces, you can remember what they said. They talked plenty about hands and fingers and feet. I suppose those could have been metaphors or jokes, but if so, some of them would have been awfully convoluted. Rather a stretch. Overall, I'd take those particular words at face value.”

    “I suppose you're right, but did any of them say we were human? Did they ever talk about our fingers?”

    “Hmm. Good question. Oh, you were clipping your nails. I remember, you talked about them.”

    Rosencrantz held up a hoof. “Hooves are made of the same material as fingernails.”

    “They are?”

    “Yes. I read that in a book somewhere. What if I was clipping these and then made the comparison to be clever?”

    “You would have had to explain the joke.”

    “Oh.” Rosencrantz shuddered. “And that's never a good thing. Hmm. But if I had hooves back then, it would explain why I couldn't play the recorder.”

    “It was me who couldn't play the recorder.”

    “Oh. Do you remember why?”

    'I have not the skill,'” Guildenstern quoted himself. Then he shrugged. “But is that really such a suspicious coincidence? Most humans are unskilled with musical instruments. If they weren't, music wouldn't be so of note.”

    “All music is of notes.”

    “Noteworthy, then. If something is not rare, it usually does not engender discussion. Music is a topic of conversation, therefore its presence is noteworthy, therefore good music is probably the minority.”

    “And thus a majority of music is unworthy of notes.”

    “Of note.”

    “Plurals in proverbs always puzzled me.”

  6. “What are you guys talking about?” said Pinkie Pie, who seemed to have instantly appeared beside them.

    “Can ponies play recorders?” asked Rosencrantz.

    “I can! I'm better with the accordion and sousaphone and bagpipes, though. Heck, I can play them all at once, wanna see?”

    “How long have you been standing there? Or hopping there?” Guildenstern tried to say.

    It was too late, though, for Rosencrantz eagerly nodded. “I should very much like to see that!”

    And Pinkie Pie began playing those instruments, and seven others as well.

    “Wait, where did you get those? We forgot to establish you had them!” cried Guildenstern, alarmed. “We must keep better track of this sort of thing! Take stock of our equipment!”

    Rosencrantz was scandalized. “I will not take stock of my equipment in front of a mare!”

    “What, I had these with me in case parasprites attacked!” said Pinkie.

    “But where were you carrying them? We didn't see you have those before!”

    “Huh?” Pinkie looked around, puzzled. “I don't know… maybe I put them in my mane?” She stuck the instruments in her mane, and sure enough, they disappeared.

    “How do they all fit in there?”

    Pinkie shrugged. “I never really thought about that.”

    Rosencrantz went from alarmed to relieved. “Perhaps we have found a kindred spirit at last.”

  7. Oh, bravo! This is just lovely. You've nailed the wordplay, the flashes of fourth wall awareness, and *of course* Pinkie is the perfect character to meet them!

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